What should I expect when I go off of birth control pills?

I've been taking birth control pills for almost seven years and decided to stop taking them as of my last cycle last week. What kind of changes should I be expecting? How long will it take for my body to get used to not having the hormones? In the past few days, I've been feeling very edgy, tired, and with on and off headaches. Is it true that once you withdraw from birth control pills, you may actually lose a few pounds?


Why does my partner's condom keeps coming off inside?

Quite often when my boyfriend and I have sex, the condom disappears into my vagina. As you can imagine, it is extremely mood killing and a little disconcerting for me to have to reach up there and find it. I read your response to another couple with the same problem, and we'll definitely make sure to hold onto the condom before pulling out. I use Depo-Provera (so the condom is used just to be extra sure), so I'm not particularly worried about pregnancy. What I would like to know, though, is why this happens to us so often? I've never lost condoms with any other partners. I also have the feeling sometimes that it might be coming off before ejaculation. This seems to happen quite frequently (one out of every two or three times we have sex). It's kind of frustrating. Is there anything else we could do differently?


How do I use dental dams?

I've seen the recommendations. I've seen the suggestions for do-it-yourself workaround (cutting open a condom, plastic wrap... ). What I *haven't* seen is practical usage advice — how to place the thing effectively, how to overcome the limitations of losing direct contact, how to arrange things to permit vaginal penetration with fingers while still maintaining protection and so on. Best-practice condom use isn't perfectly obvious either, but at the most basic level it's pretty straightforward. If you want to build acceptance for barrier use during cunnilingus, it needs to be at least as clear and/or at least as well-documented.


How can I strengthen my abs?

For as long as I can remember, I've been using my back muscles when I did sit-ups. In fact, I distinctly remember the first time we did them in second grade. After a few reps, it was already so painful that I was having trouble breathing properly. Being eight years old, however, I didn't realize this was a warning sign and assumed it was normal.

Flash forward ten years, and I have almost no strength in my abdominal muscles. I've tried to teach myself to do curl-ups properly, but no matter how hard I try, I can't even lift my head without using my back muscles. Exercise balls are no help either. Even when I concentrate on using my abs to keep myself steady, my back is still doing 95% of the work.

So, in short, I have two questions: Am I at risk for having damaged my back from years of abuse, and how can I work on strength training my abs now?


How can I ask my partner if they have any STIs?

I really enjoy reading your answers on these pages, but here's the question that I haven't seen addressed on your web pages or anywhere else on the Internet. Can you please suggest some appropriate ways to ask a person with whom you're about to have sex if he or she has any sexually transmitted diseases? A few months ago, I met a girl with whom I had sex... and, as I found out later, she had herpes. We did use condoms anyway, but there was still some risk in catching herpes since we didn't use condoms all the time.